Hey Bélla..
This is the 200th entry.. Wohoo.. Now I know what the true meaning of depression.. Well.. I'm on a verge of depression.. People(my
fucking relative) pressuring me to find a job.. Yeah.. I'm jobless.. So what.. It's my life.. Why are you forcing me to do stuff that I don't want to do.. Argh!!
Right now, I feel like I want to disapper from the face of the earth.. I feel like I have no point of living.. I hurt those who are dear to me.. I always start a fight with Dear.. I always disappoint my parents.. I guess, I'm the problematic one.. The one who give all the problems.. Wish I wasn't even born into this world..
The O level results are releasing soon.. I bet I'm gonna flop it.. To tell you the truth.. I didn't study.. I spend my life fooling around.. If Dear's results suck like mine.. That this proof that it's my fault.. My fault because made him not doing his best..
Haix.. I really hate the fact that your flesh and blood talk behind your back.. It's like really stabbed you at the back and you're left there paralysed. It's really hurts.. Call yourself my relative but you're not treating me like one.. First you call me anti-social.. Ouhk.. Wanna know why??
I DON'T LISTEN TO YOU'RE KIND OF MUSIC LIKE TECHNO, REGGAE, JIWANG..
I DON'T HANG OUT UNDER THE BLOCK OR ESPLANADE..
I NOT A TYPICAL MALAY MINAH..
I'M ALWAYS OUT OF PLACE WHEN YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT YOUR STUFF..
SO I'M BETTER ON MY OWN..
Now you're calling me lazy? Why? Because I ask Kak Na'emah for a job vacancy? Wanna knoe the truth?
FYI: I'VE ENOUGH.. I BEEN TO MANY PLACES, FILL OUT FORMS FOR LIKE ONE MONTH..
I HAVE ENOUGH OF WAITING FOR THEM TO CALL..
MY MOM, YOUR MAK LONG!!!, ASK HER MOM, UMI!!!.. NOT ME OUHK..
SO.. NEXT TIME.. ASK FIRST.. DON'T ANYHOW SAY..
Argh!! Now.. I don't care what you guys wanna say about me.. Let me be who I wanna be.. It's my life not your's.. So FUCK OFF!!
I'm sick of being nice Ijah or Faiza or Fiza or whatever you call me.. I'm tired of sinking in this stuff and act as if nothing happen.. Well.. If you're not happy.. So be it.. It's my blog.. I have the right to speak what's on my mind.. If you don't want to regard me as your cousin.. Be my guest.. I dun give a bloody care..
So long and good night..
iza
Love to have